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Researchers at Bristol Royal Infirmary have come up with what they describe as a "user-friendly" seven-point scale – "the Bristol stool form scale" – against which you can measure your own stools.

1. Separate hard lumps, like nuts.
2. Sausage-shaped, but lumpy.
3. Like a sausage or snake but with cracks on its surface.
4. Like a sausage or snake, smooth and soft.
5. Soft blobs with clear-cut edges.
6. Fluffy pieces with ragged edges, a mushy stool.
7. Water, no solid pieces.

You couldn't make it up, could you ? Perhaps taking the lead from the "beaufort scale" used by the sailing community, we now have a handy point of reference to measure how "radical" a windsurf/kitesurf session was by a combination of the Beaufort and the Bristol scale:

"It was a force 6 out on the water, but in the pub afterwards it was a good 7 on the Bristol scale"

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